Before you read this, I want you to know that I’m not a dating expert. In fact I have recently started my own journey of learning how to get better at dating via my podcast Red Flags with Natalie Norman. However, I know a few things and honestly I think maybe they can help you or maybe not.
1. Don’t date anyone who has an eyebrow ring. I’m telling you now, that’s the type of person who definitely won’t go down on you. And if they do, it’s not going to be great.
2. My mom once asked me a simple question “is this the love you want?” and I immediately broke up with the person that I was seeing. Always ask yourself this question.
3. Sure they make you laugh, and give you orgasms — but are they nice? LIKE SERIOUSLY! NICE IS SO UNDERRATED.
4. As a Jewish person who sometimes dates other Jewish people, I have learned to ask “who are your cousins? Are we related?” My ex once called me from a bat mitzvah and told me we were cousins through marriage. We should have broken up but we ended up dating for 8 more months.
5. Dating is hard in general. Dating in 2021, during a pandemic is insane. Be patient with people. Everyone is reacting in their own way to chaos. Like, some people are absolutely spiralling. Some people are hiding. Some people are pretending this is normal, and actually, don’t worry about being patient with them.
6. You can create romance anywhere and I mean ANYWHERE. I once had the most romantic night of my life at Swiss Chalet.
7. No matter the type of relationship, new, old, casual, NSA sex— serious communication is important.
8. Date people who like you, not the idea of you, BUT WHO LIKE YOU FOR WHO YOU ACTUALLY ARE.
9. Date people you like. I know this seems obvious but I once dated someone I hated because the sex was sex.
10. Don’t let fear hold you back. Like listen, we have all experienced heartbreak. Your heart WILL heal and you’ll be all the better for it. Things might end and that’s okay. Trust that good things will happen.
11. Don’t look for love in the wrong places i.e. Tinder, Instagram, a funeral or a shiva. Yes that guy looks hot in his suits, but his grandmother died and he is not in a place to date.
12. Listen to your friends – sometimes they see things you don’t. Like the time they saw my ex at a comedy show on a date with someone else while we were dating.
13. No one person can be your everything. It’s a harmful myth that the one you love should be your lover, best friend and therapist. Ummm it’s just not possible.
14. Be kind, understanding and leave every situation better than when you got there. Be gentle with people’s hearts, you monsters.
Header image design by Orly Zebak. Photo of Natalie Norman courtesy of Natalie Norman.
Natalie Norman is a Toronto-based stand-up comedian, podcaster, storyteller and Jewess. Also you should definitely listen to her podcast Red flags with Natalie Norman.